Resposibilities

 Why do I have to always be the hard working responsible one?

 Why can't I be the one to tbe taken care of. I just want a fucking break. I want someone to care for my every need and to be oncerned if i take my pills or go to my doctors appoinments.i want someone to do my laundry and meal prep for me and make sure I am ok. i dont think this is somthing that will ever happen no matter how hard i try. Most times i cant let go of control but most times i really want to. I dont want to be responsible. ive grow up waay to fast and as a result of that i am fucking damaged. 


i suffer in silence because i cant lt anyone see that i am weak. if they do then who would I even be. people are always to busy with thier own shit to notice me and here i am jut wantng basic ttention at time. I know i can be a handful but sometimes thats not so true

 I dont kno what it is about the act or thought of going to work that i dont like. i love my ob and i like the people there and despite the few bad moments with guests it really is enjoyable. So why do i not want to go to work all the fucking time. I want to be independently wealthy and thn not have to go to work. it would be something i could do strictly because i want to not because I have to so i can take care of the 5 thousand responsibilities I have to be in charge of. 


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