My needs and my inablitlty to express them
I dont know how to even statrt when telling someone what I want. i have this horrible thing of thinking abput it forever and then i barely squeak it out. ihave to figure out why I am so afraid to ask for what I want. It hs been this way for all og my life. And then When i di try to express what i want i get told that i cant have it, which may be the reason why i dont want to ask for anything.
i want kinky sex,, I want to be hit with objects. I want to feel the pain and the sting and maybe even, if i am hit hard enough, the pain aof the bruises long afte ihave been hit with things. i want to have a Dom/sub reltionship with theman I am wiht, i know noone can be perfect and I am not going to always get what i want, but that is something important to me. It is what i really truely desire in the beroom. That is why for a while there I just wasnt up for sex. i knew I wouldnt get the satisfaction i needed from it so why bothe. Yeah he would get his jollies off nd i would too but having just boring muggle sex wasnt quote what i wanted. I want the build up of being tied up and tortured. i want to be teased and spanked and hit with a cane or a flogger or whatever toys the man has. But instead what i get is a half assed spanking and the non understandling that you need to give my ass a bit of a rest before you go spank it again. i want him to learn how to hit me before kyle moves away beccause if it doesnt happen now then it will never happen and i wont be fully satisfied. i dont want to cheat on him. I want him to learn to hit me because in most other aspects he is a great guy for me. he puts up with a lot of my shit, and i dont know why. i know i can be a real bitch. I want him to tell me i am his good girl when it is in the right context. IT PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF when he just says it willy niley. He doesnt understand the weight it has and the effect it CAN have on me when used RIGHT. you cant just say it while we are in the middle of target shopping for whatever bullshit. NO!! It has to be in the right moment during a scene where i am his little girl and he is my Sir and there is that bond there. I dont know what to do if I dont get it. i love sex and i want to be happy with my sex life. i want new things ans I want him to work harder at making me happy in the sheets. i ant him to listen and pay attention to what i wam saying and not get sooo fucking butt hurt when i critique him just every so slightly to say hey why dont you move you hand to the elft and actually be playing with my clit instead of the side of it. i ahve told you many times that i like when you go all slow when rubbing my clit. because if you arent going to give me propper foreplay rhen you are going to have to go slow and let me wrap my mind around a porn i have seen and memorized. i want to be able to have an orgasm and not fake it. There is moe i need and i dont know how to get it when i have tried to tell him wht i want.
i want kinky sex,, I want to be hit with objects. I want to feel the pain and the sting and maybe even, if i am hit hard enough, the pain aof the bruises long afte ihave been hit with things. i want to have a Dom/sub reltionship with theman I am wiht, i know noone can be perfect and I am not going to always get what i want, but that is something important to me. It is what i really truely desire in the beroom. That is why for a while there I just wasnt up for sex. i knew I wouldnt get the satisfaction i needed from it so why bothe. Yeah he would get his jollies off nd i would too but having just boring muggle sex wasnt quote what i wanted. I want the build up of being tied up and tortured. i want to be teased and spanked and hit with a cane or a flogger or whatever toys the man has. But instead what i get is a half assed spanking and the non understandling that you need to give my ass a bit of a rest before you go spank it again. i want him to learn how to hit me before kyle moves away beccause if it doesnt happen now then it will never happen and i wont be fully satisfied. i dont want to cheat on him. I want him to learn to hit me because in most other aspects he is a great guy for me. he puts up with a lot of my shit, and i dont know why. i know i can be a real bitch. I want him to tell me i am his good girl when it is in the right context. IT PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF when he just says it willy niley. He doesnt understand the weight it has and the effect it CAN have on me when used RIGHT. you cant just say it while we are in the middle of target shopping for whatever bullshit. NO!! It has to be in the right moment during a scene where i am his little girl and he is my Sir and there is that bond there. I dont know what to do if I dont get it. i love sex and i want to be happy with my sex life. i want new things ans I want him to work harder at making me happy in the sheets. i ant him to listen and pay attention to what i wam saying and not get sooo fucking butt hurt when i critique him just every so slightly to say hey why dont you move you hand to the elft and actually be playing with my clit instead of the side of it. i ahve told you many times that i like when you go all slow when rubbing my clit. because if you arent going to give me propper foreplay rhen you are going to have to go slow and let me wrap my mind around a porn i have seen and memorized. i want to be able to have an orgasm and not fake it. There is moe i need and i dont know how to get it when i have tried to tell him wht i want.
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