giving up

 Giving up on other but at the same time giving myself the space to be better mentally. Why do things that make me no feel good mentally when it is already terrible inside my head. Yeah I miss seeing whats going on inside the server but at the same time I do not miss feeling like no one cares about me when I do post stuff. The server has changed and I don't see it as a good thing. I don't know who or why I was nominated for a community role thing. It doesn't make sense to me especialy since they basically took away the one thing I was doing that they liked anyways. 

    This whole Marvel thing has got me twisted too. Like I am putting way to much effort in for to little return. I have asked for more and have not gotten more. I really don't want to sit in my car all day and have the engine running becasue that is going to waste gas and I don't have an income right now so no thank you. I also don't want to sit in the car all day with out the engine on because it is going to be hot as balls out and that just plain fucking sucks. Also I am just really tired of having sex in my car. It has been 6 months since we started talking/ dating anf it is time for things to advance and to change and thats what I want but there is no room to grow. Thats how I feel anyways. You have your own shit your dealing w ith and if your not willing to fight for yourself in your relationship then I don't expect you to fight for me in this relationship. Plain and simple. 

    I want to be chased damnit. I want to be taken care of. You want to come at me with all these rules and impliment none of them... ok cool. they don't mean shit to you then. What was the fucking point of even saying them then!

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