Panda

so about 2 years ago i started reading this bok i found at work called The Happiness Project by Gretchen B. She goes though a year in her life and starts in January with her project of how to be happier in her life and how to appreciate thing more. I picked it up again and started reading it on the bus. Another great side effect of taking the bus is i get to read more. Its harder and harder to knit on the bus because i have to pack it in my backpack and then depending on the size of the project it get complicated. So reading is it for me. It also saves me from mindlessly scrolling though face ook and instagram for a couple hours out of my life, but at home it has the added benefit of not staring at a TV for many many hours. So anyways...... I have always struggled with my own happiness. I dont know if i have ever truely been happy. I was going to erase that sentence because i thought to myself that i have been happy but in different ways. There is the elation i get from working at t...

My life has been very interesting lately. Recently I read an article about how childhood neglect causes all these things that are actually relevant to me. It was a very interesting thing to realize that this thing from my childhood had a name and there were common things that came from it. The only thing I can not figure out is how to deal with it and fix things in my head. I have always been more self aware than most but at the same time I also block a lot out as well as not paying attention to things. I don't know how to better pay attention to things in my life so that I can remember simple things like coworkers names and such. I simply do not pay attention to their name tags. I also have this huge anxiety issue that i feel is growing out of control in some ways. Minor things, like where i have to park for work had to change and that freaked me the fuck out. I did know where the lot was but i didn't know how long it would take to find a spot and i didn't have my usua...