Panda

So my roommate and his girlfriend re now engaged. They have known eachother less than a year and they are engaged. Mean while Anthony and I are going on 3 1/2 years and he still can't get a fucking job! He won't go out and walk so he can build up the strength in hid legs to be abkle to work for 4 hours a day. It makes me incedibly sad. I want to be married to him but I am at the point of leaving him if he doesnt find a job by the time our 4 year anniversary comes around. How much more shit can I be put through. Sure he "has a plan" for asking me to mary him and how he plans to do it but to get there you have to have a job and have money to do these things and quit being a spineless litle bitch. Learn to stand up for yourself. Geez! So now I have to wait to see if the happy couple will be home while I am and then I have to fake happiness for them. I would rather just avoid them all together because that would be much easier for me, but thats mean to them I suppose....

These are al the things I want in life but I can't have them because my boyfriend can't and wont get a fucking job. He has to be so damn picky about everything when it comes finding a job. This is the reason, he claims that he hasnt asked yet. Now that he has told me about our friends and roommates getting engaged it makes me sad and want to cry. THEY HAVENT EVEN KNOWN EACH OTHER A YEAR!! we are going on three and a half years together and he still doesnt have a fucking job! we cant move forward together in life because of him. I blame all of this on him. An of course he had to tell me right before a vacation. I am going to try not to let it ruin my vacation but who knows what will happen. He jus sits there al day long dreaming all these big dreams, but what about making them happen. Yeah ok you can get a job for a month once a year to work at the fucking halloween show at a stupid small amusement park. WOOPEDYDO! and then you dont eeven claim your fucking taxes!! UGH!!! I swea...