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so there is this whole weight loss thing ive been going through for well over a year now.  I did great in my first year. I lost 46 pounds i was full of energy and it was great. Then i fell off th wagon and here we are now almost a year after i stopped going to the gym, and i am up 20 pounds. I dont eat r ight and i dont make good decisions for food. I have no energy to speak of and i am exhausted and stressed all the freaking time. Cindy was saying that I am not getting enough calories in the day so that may be comtributing to my lack of energy. I think she may be right,. I need to start holding myself accountable again and weigh myself every friday morning and measure things. I know the beach body website has those things there. I dont know. maybe they haave an idea of where I should be measureing, and what. I need to eat better and i need to get more healthy foods into me and anthoiny. He is able to help b providing 38 dolars a week this month to the gorcery bill and I will cove...

Is it really such a bad excuse not to go to th gym because i am so tired after working 2 jobs in one day all week to not go to the gym. All i want to do when I am not working is go home and sit and watch tv. I have trainer sessions I need to use up. I know this. I paid for them and everything. So why not go? oh yeah! that is because i am way to tired to go and do anything. i just want to go to my room and sit and relax. Blah! Sure I could go, maybe. I am so damn unmotivated that it isnt even funny. Why cant i get it going anymoe? I cant even eat right anymore. I know i shouldnt be having the bagels and cream cheese oe the cheez-its, but I want crave them and what am i supposed to do with that? I dont know.... I want to be thinner but there is just no motivatio. everyone says i look great and thats so wonderful. I do not like my fat on my tummy or arms or inner thighs. I have got to do something about it. Whats my motivation?

That is what I have been lately.A lazy ass mother fucker! I dont exercise and I am not exactly eating right. I cheat here and there becaue I am lazy. I want to lose more weight and I think abou that as i shove more and more "bad" food into my mouth. I buy a bag of cheeze its at 2nd work Because they are there and cheap and I love them. I have been on this diet for more than a year, and when combined with the exercise part of the plan works great for me. And I know that lately I have been tored becasie A) I have been eating bad for me foods, and B) because i have been working a shit ton of hourse very week. Its the 50 hours a week combination from both jobs that is killing me. Geting home around 10 and staying up till midnight or later sometimes, and then getting up at 630 a.m. and repaeating this duriing the week that kills me. I also know that it is the whle not working out thing that I s killing me. I have to get back to the gym, ok well lets be honest; I dont have to, I re...