I am trying...

 Last Saturday I decided to do somethings and try to stick with them.  I sorted out my pills into a container and set an alarm to take the as well as one to remind me to refill them on Saturday nights. I also set an alarm to remind me to do my blood pressure. The first 2 days of doing things and keeping track of them went great. Yesterday I had struggled because I had to work on an assignment for college and it was hard for me to do it cause I don't know what i am doing. I gave myself the whole day to do it and made sure to take breaks when I felt I needed it the most. i finally had to just stop because I didn't know how to paint one thing and I was just as done as I could be ,mentally, with it. today has been a sad day. I want to cry over no nonsense things and I am just in general sad. I am supposed to be doing things like writing up a menu of all the foods we have in the house so I can meal plan/prep them so that way I can continue to eat healthier. Yesterday was a struggle food wise because I know carbs aren't totally bad and I am not trying to cut them out completely but I just felt bad cause 50% of the food intake for the day was carbs. I was trying to find non carb food I could eat to make things better and so I could fel full for a bit longer so I posted to the fitness group I am in. they gave me some wonderful tips that I have already forgot but at least i can go back and look them up again. 


Really what I want to do, and am hoping to get a doc to prescribe, is to go see a registered dietitian. tha would be amazing because I have no idea what to eat and such or what I should be intaking as far as fat, protein, carbs... etc. 

 

So today I just feel sad and i had Anthony come with me to go run some errands and go to the store because I didn't want to be alone. I have also been trying to be more vocal about how I am feeling with him so he knows what I am going through and doesn't have to wonder as much. I know my mood swoings are hard on him so I am trying to make it easier.


I know today will pass and there is a great chance that tomorrow will be better. That is all I can hope for right now. So for now I am doing some light crafting, I told my mom I would make her a sign for her door when she is in a zoom call, so I am working on that right now.

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