a better me..?
So I am trying to be more aware of things and remember to do things. and basically just be a better person all around. I am trying to take more responsibility for things. for instance doing thr cat litter on the regular. i was dependng on Anthon to do this because well lets be frank, he didnt have a job. so of course i expected him to do all these house hold things because i was working my ass off. I didn have the time or energy to do anything. Now that Disney is slowing down a little, like i am only working 2 days this week and next, and I am gong to limit myself at michaels for the ske of my goddamn sanity. althhough we do need money, no job is worth loosing my shit over. I am tired and exhausted and all i want to do is lay there like a motionless bean and not think about or do ANYTHING!!
Things have been going better financialy. I am getting caught up on bills msotly. I forgot to pay a couple of them last month but i went ahead and set up payments for future dates. Today is my 2nd day off in a row from both jobs. Granted Anthony has o work on all of these days but at least I can have some me time, which is what I think I really need. I never really get to be by myself let alone by myself in the house. It is really great because no one is here at the moment. I can do what I want. I sat and ate my crappy food and watched my crappy show., and when I was done doing that I got up and started doing things and moving them around and putting them away. I had to straighten upmthe bedroom (mostly the bed) because Leslie is coming over and she wants to do girlystuff. I have been resisting it for a while because i am lazy ass shitty friend . I feel like I dont have enough energy to deal with people any of the time.
I have tried to make people understand that I am emotionally exhausted from all the people i have to talk to and all the happy I have to project while i am at Disneyland. That is not who I am all the time. Yeah sure when I am having a super good day I can be like that and i ts great.
Now to get back to planning out bills and shit.
P.s. I am going to try to actively make this new active me thing happen. Things like this usually start out great for like a week, if that, and then they just peter out..... fingers crossed....
Things have been going better financialy. I am getting caught up on bills msotly. I forgot to pay a couple of them last month but i went ahead and set up payments for future dates. Today is my 2nd day off in a row from both jobs. Granted Anthony has o work on all of these days but at least I can have some me time, which is what I think I really need. I never really get to be by myself let alone by myself in the house. It is really great because no one is here at the moment. I can do what I want. I sat and ate my crappy food and watched my crappy show., and when I was done doing that I got up and started doing things and moving them around and putting them away. I had to straighten upmthe bedroom (mostly the bed) because Leslie is coming over and she wants to do girlystuff. I have been resisting it for a while because i am lazy ass shitty friend . I feel like I dont have enough energy to deal with people any of the time.
I have tried to make people understand that I am emotionally exhausted from all the people i have to talk to and all the happy I have to project while i am at Disneyland. That is not who I am all the time. Yeah sure when I am having a super good day I can be like that and i ts great.
Now to get back to planning out bills and shit.
P.s. I am going to try to actively make this new active me thing happen. Things like this usually start out great for like a week, if that, and then they just peter out..... fingers crossed....
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