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So I hve been off my diet and not going to the gym as of late. with this second job thing and well basically my laziness i have been finding every excuse not to go to the gym and on the weekend i have just been eating really poorly. I am only hurting myself in not loosing the wieght i want to loose. I have lost about 50 plus pounds as of now and i am god with that, I used to want more and i dont know where that motivation has gone. I want to be under 20 lbs but not bad enough apparently. I am already scred enough as it is to have to shop in a new set of stores. I have only sopped at two places for more then a decade and now I have to shp at the skinnier sized stores. I am in no way a skinny person, and i dought i will ever be. Thats just isnt how I was built. I really truely am scared to have to go shopping at khols. what section do i shop in. I dont want to go to the younger side but i dont want to go to the older side either. I feel like fashion is lost on the now 30 year old that I am. I have had most of the same clothes since highschool.

I want to get back on track with my diet, but then when the weekends come i give up and just eat whatever i want despite having the food there with me. Why cant I just eat the food i prepared AND payed for instead of letting the veggies go to waste. I need to get back on track and i need to get my shit together. If I am to tired for he gym atleast i can eat right!

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