Those things you cant say to anyone
I've got tons of things that I can not tell anyone. I just don't like to share things, I neer have. I am not good at it. I want to tell people things but then i get scared that the are going to think i am weird or something. I just hate this whole depression thing. I am so sick of it. I am tired of the whole one thing sets me off and then everything goes to hell. i just want to go away right now. I am all alone which is sorta what i wanted but i just want to be comforted in silence.
I dont want to go hang out with emily because i dont like how she makes me feel like what i have to say doesnt matter. She doesnt always make me feel like that but most of the time she does. And her telling her boyfriend david, whom she says she love, that he doesnt love her is really fucking annoying. I think it uhrts their relationship, but then again i am on the outside. I wish things in my life were different. I wish that i could do th ings better and be a better person sometimes.
I dont know what i want now. I want to make more oney and not have to qork 2 jobs but there is nothing i can do about that. Well I guess there is but I dont want to quit the glass job., I love working there and i love most of the people i interact with.
I feel lately that i need to get my flirty fix. I get bored with anthony sometimes. It is the same shit everytime. Its not funny when you say "my/your bum is on (insert object here)." It WAS funny the one time I did it right after ex, but that was it. No i dont like when you sing my bathroom song everytime I have to pee. That was my thing. I enjoy singing it and you dont sing it right!!
This evening was a bit hard fir ne. I wanted to drink after having a confrontation with an old man at the costco gas station and then with patrick. I want to drink but i know better now to not drink when i am emotional. I want to feel pain but there is no way to get that pain right now. I almost cried earlier and i know I should have let it out but again I felt it wasnt the right time to do so in front ofmy sister and while I was trying to fill my transmission with fluid. I just want to be better then all this and not have all these problems. I dont want to bring down anthony with my bad mood but he will be able to tell something is wrong after taling to me for just a bit. Why do i have to be like t his!!!!
I dont want to go hang out with emily because i dont like how she makes me feel like what i have to say doesnt matter. She doesnt always make me feel like that but most of the time she does. And her telling her boyfriend david, whom she says she love, that he doesnt love her is really fucking annoying. I think it uhrts their relationship, but then again i am on the outside. I wish things in my life were different. I wish that i could do th ings better and be a better person sometimes.
I dont know what i want now. I want to make more oney and not have to qork 2 jobs but there is nothing i can do about that. Well I guess there is but I dont want to quit the glass job., I love working there and i love most of the people i interact with.
I feel lately that i need to get my flirty fix. I get bored with anthony sometimes. It is the same shit everytime. Its not funny when you say "my/your bum is on (insert object here)." It WAS funny the one time I did it right after ex, but that was it. No i dont like when you sing my bathroom song everytime I have to pee. That was my thing. I enjoy singing it and you dont sing it right!!
This evening was a bit hard fir ne. I wanted to drink after having a confrontation with an old man at the costco gas station and then with patrick. I want to drink but i know better now to not drink when i am emotional. I want to feel pain but there is no way to get that pain right now. I almost cried earlier and i know I should have let it out but again I felt it wasnt the right time to do so in front ofmy sister and while I was trying to fill my transmission with fluid. I just want to be better then all this and not have all these problems. I dont want to bring down anthony with my bad mood but he will be able to tell something is wrong after taling to me for just a bit. Why do i have to be like t his!!!!
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