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Showing posts from May, 2014

Mental Issues... Loosing myself

There are time where i wonder if i really am bipolar. it all makes sense and it seems that the basic  diagnoses is there.Right now i feel sad and I have been on a fucking roler coaster for a few days now. I wonder sometimes, more recently then not, that maybe some pills would help. but problem number one is that i cant afford the pills and prolem number 2 is i wonder if that will be the real me or not. I want tobe happy but there are times where i wonder if i am happy al the time am i just not dealing with all the sadness in my life and if i am not then is it all going to come spiraling down. i live in a constant fear that when things are going really well and ihave had quite a number of good mood days that eveything is going to go crashing down. but then i also wory that is it just me creating the problem or not. Am i causing my own mysery\?? There are time where i just need to work through my shit and get it out in whatever manner that maybe. Everyone around me is having a wo...

cheating on my diet

So on saturday i went to lumch with pat. I cheated on my diet, and now i am currently haviong trouble. I really just want to eat "normal" food again. i just want to eat i just want tobe full. I want to eat the cookie and I want to eat the burger.There isnt anythiong in particular i want to eat i just want to eat. Lots and lots of food. I want it all now!