Panda

 I really just want to end it all. I want all of this suffering and heart ache to just go the fuck away. I don't know how to do so so I don't know what to do. I want to go to sleep but my mind is racing right now because we are in the middle of a fight and idk wtf is going on.  I am proud of myself for just letting go of Derick and realising that his attention wasnt worth shit. He was shitty at it so good bye. I am done! I just want to cry and die. That is all.  I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die just fucking kill me already i hate this world. Whats the fucking point anymore. I have no where to go. I will just live out of a storage place  FUCK EVERYTHING I can't tell anyone these kinds of things because I know they will be worried and i don't want that. I just literally want to disappear into the nothing that I am. 

 I am in this area in my life where I make enough money to cover a bill

 I am feeling ridiculously anxious right now because thre is so much that is out of control at the moment or are things I can not fix rtight now and have to wait to be able to do anything.

 Why cant I just be ok with things? Why do I have to think about them so much? Why can't I just enjoy the things that are going on around me??  why do I have to worry so god damn much!!    UUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHH

  I just want to die.